The Sibling Bond Isn’t Always Tied With a Thread

Pradeepa Reddy

Aug 01 2025

<div class='bc_element' id='bc_element1' style='width:auto;padding:5px;max-height:100%;'><span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When I was younger, Raksha Bandhan came with all the predictable cues: shiny thalis, tiny rice grains, a diya wobbling in the monsoon wind. My sister would tie the rakhi with an awkward sense of ceremony, and I’d present her with a crisp note or, on years I forgot, a guilty IOU. It was tradition, and it worked. But over time, that rhythm changed.<span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When we moved to different cities  then countries  the distance became more than just geographic. We no longer shared the same fridge, the same fights over the remote, or the same late-night giggles when our parents were asleep. And slowly, Raksha Bandhan became a quiet exchange of WhatsApp wishes. Sometimes, it was just a forwarded message with stock clipart — a rakhi emoji, folded hands, maybe a nostalgic throwback photo. No thread. No thali. Just a timestamp saying <span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“delivered”<span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">.<span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And yet, the bond didn’t break.<span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Because here’s the thing about siblinghood: it often runs deeper than ritual. It hides in the unphotographed moments — when you send them a voice note after a bad work day, or when you’re the first one they call before telling your parents about a life decision. It’s the shared language of growing up under the same roof, being raised by the same stories, and remembering the exact pitch of your father’s scolding. It’s less about promises of protection, and more about quiet presence — a knowing, sometimes messy companionship.<span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In the diaspora, this siblinghood takes on new meanings. For Indian families abroad, Raksha Bandhan often arrives as a reminder of something we’re “supposed to do” — a ritual seen more through the lens of nostalgia than necessity. In American suburbia, it’s easy to forget the date until your mother calls, reminding you from across time zones to send something — even if it’s just a text. And you obey, not because you believe in the thread, but because you believe in what came before it.<span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But many diasporic siblings also grow up in parallel — shaped by their own environments, moving through life stages at different speeds. One may still cling to rituals; the other may have let them go. One may see Rakhi as sacred; the other as sentimental. And yet, even with mismatched views, the bond often survives — in its own way.<span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Take my friend Aditi, for instance. Her brother forgot Rakhi three years in a row. She was furious the first time, mildly irritated the second, and unsurprised the third. But then, when her dog passed away last winter, he was the only one who knew what to say. He didn’t send flowers or offer philosophy. He just called, sat on the phone in silence, and let her cry. That was her Rakhi.<span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There’s a reason we use the phrase <span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“blood is thicker than water.”<span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> But for many, especially those in the diaspora, blood alone isn’t the glue. Shared childhoods, inside jokes, unresolved arguments, and the occasional emergency Venmo — these become the real threads.<span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Some siblings find each other again after years of cold silence. Some drift permanently, connected only by social media and parental updates. And some discover newer forms of intimacy: co-parenting ageing parents from afar, decoding tax returns together, or swapping homemade sambhar recipes over FaceTime.<span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Raksha Bandhan — as symbolic as it is — becomes less about the thread and more about the effort.<span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And maybe, in today’s world, that’s more than enough.<span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Because in between time zones, career shifts, and cultural collisions, keeping a sibling relationship alive takes intentionality. Not because a festival says so, but because somewhere deep inside, we remember that only they knew the version of us that didn’t know how to tie shoelaces or pronounce “archaeology.”<span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In that sense, the rakhi isn’t irrelevant — it’s just not always literal.<span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s in the Google Calendar reminder that says “Call Bhai.”<span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> <span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s in the joint Amazon Prime account you both forgot you were sharing.<span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> <span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s in the way they still pronounce your name the way your grandmother did.<span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So if you didn’t tie a rakhi this year, don’t worry.<span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Check your texts. Listen to that old voice note.<span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> <span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Or just call — even if you don’t know what to say.<span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Because the sibling bond was never just tied with a thread.<span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> <span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It was tied with time. With tension. With tenderness.<span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> <span style="font-size: 11pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And most of all, with trying — again and again — to stay in each other’s lives </div>

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